So I went straight from that mid-October show into a two week period of intense “what-I-get-paid-to-do” type work, during which I pretty much didn’t touch the guitar at all. And now I am paying the price. In the fading of finger callouses, yes, and in a cracked “au gratin” voice. But also in the mental shakes that I’ve come to recognize as Practice Withdrawal. I’ve expressed dismay in here before, when I’m well practiced, as to why I’d ever let myself get rusty. But here I am, fairly fresh from a longish stretch of inactivity, and I’m no clearer on why I let it happen than I was three months ago.
Actually, that’s not true. On the one hand, I was busy with work. And on the other I am — or at least can be — kinda lazy. Not even lazy, just… I’ve been thinking about this a lot, actually. I think it’s too easy to configure your life in this hill and trough pattern, where you’re either suffering through something unenjoyable, or you’re “treating” yourself to some (potentially unhealthy, or just dumb) leisure activity. You think you’ve earned it because you think you’ve suffered, and so now you’re rewarding yourself.
Bridge that into your own sociological musings, if you will. All I know is that music, for me, is an antidote to the pattern. It’s a third thing — not work, not leisure, but somewhere in between. It’s a lot more than that, of course, but I don’t want to get too fruity on you. Just suffice it to say that I’m back into picking up the guitar again, and it’s made all the difference in the world.
AND, when I practiced for the first time since the drought earlier this week, right away I thought of something archival to post — a big group sing of “This Land is Your Land” from my birthday party a couple years ago. (Gotta find it on the cassette!) And I realized how close I was to finishing this one set of lyrics, so I had the notebook with me on the train the next day. And I thought about doing a one-mike demo of this newish song, since it works as well that way as it does with bells and whistles in Garageband. And today I played bass and programmed some beats and took a listen to the stuff I did with John and Larry in August and strategized a completion plan for that…
That’s what I think paralyzes me during those time-outs. There’s so MUCH to do, in a way — it doesn’t stop. But then once I’m back in it, I see that all of this “too much” is just too much of a GOOD thing, so what’s my problem? Just Pick a Card, Any Card, right?
