What We Talk About When We Talk About Everyone

The tie is pink, by the way.

I was honored to be a part of friends Jessica and Jet’s “Not-a-Wedding” a couple of weeks ago. The State of Illinois doesn’t recognize their commitment yet, hence the name of the ceremony. I was asked to perform a song that they’d heard at me and Amy’s wedding, Ron Sexsmith’s “God Loves Everyone”–a song which we’d nicked in turn from the wedding of our friends Justin and Chris. As a wedding song, this one gets around. I understand it’s become particularly popular at same-sex events like this one, which is cool.

At Justin and Chris’ wedding, Liam Davis (from Chicago power-pop masters Frisbie) sang the song, and at the time I was deeply impressed with the line about everyone getting into heaven, “queer or straight / souls of every faith.” Speaking to Justin just a few weeks ago about the song, he enthused that it “talks about God in a way people usually don’t,” and I couldn’t agree with him more.

I remember getting the song from iTunes when it was merely a candidate for our wedding ceremony, and being on the el while listening to it in full for the first time. Receiving each lyric loud and clear, I nearly burst into tears right then and there. If there is a God, surely its omnipotence would preclude any concerns it would have with what church you went to, or if indeed you went to church at all. If there is a heaven, surely you wouldn’t be barred from it based on whether you fancied boys or girls…or both. Yes?

I’ve been phrasing things that way lately, saying “if there is a God” before my statements of faith. It’s mostly out of courtesy towards those who don’t believe in God, I guess. It’s also, cornily enough, a nod to Springsteen’s intro to one of the songs he did on VH-1′s Storytellers. I’m paraphrasing, but he said something like, “If we have any claim on the divine, it’s through our connection with each other.” Like it’s possible, but it’s not necessarily so. Like he was saying, “I’m just sayin’.”

I appreciate that kind of inclusiveness, because it’s the exclusiveness of “religious folks” that gives them such a bad rep with just about any thinking person I know. As in, “Not only are we certain that there’s a God, but we’re certain we believe in the right one, and if you believe in the wrong one, you’re going to burn.” Certainty’s a good feeling and all–I certainly like it. But the very fact that I’m writing this, that I struggle with my faith–this seems to me to be the point of it. If I just read some book one day and unlocked everything and then spent the rest of my life telling everyone I “had” the answer… How presumptuous. Not to mention unadventurous, the answers all referenced and squared away like that.

So I’m still iffy and probably will be for the rest of my life. My faith dips and halts and circles around again. “God” is a decent way to frame the narrative, and it’s convenient to use a word so many other people use…but on the other hand, when some people say it, they mean “The Guy Upstairs Who Hates Homos.” So what can you do?

I am reminded of Obama’s line about abortion. I think Rick Warren was pushing him during the campaign on whether it was basically right or wrong, and Obama said that the question was above his “pay-grade.” So it is with me and God, I think. If you claim to KNOW one way or the other, then you have to know that many people disagree, and so you risk being disrespectful at best, dogmatic and intolerant at worst. It’s better, I think, to frame it with an “if.” Better, I think, to not really think of it as an argument in the first place, a debate to win or lose. And, okay, if it IS an argument, then I’m willing to admit, since we’re talking about something supposedly gigantic and un-graspable, that it’s one that is way above my pay-grade.

Meanwhile, if it’s not an argument, and if it’s anything like the Boss suggests, I get to connect with people and continue the struggle. The unsure verb of it sustains me in spite of its flux, in spite of its built-in uncertainty. I don’t think I’d have it any other way. Or, as Jessica’s mom hollered at the conclusion of my song, “amen.”

“God Loves Everyone”
by Ron Sexsmith

God loves everyone
Like a mother loves her son
No strings at all
Unconditional
Never one to judge
Would never hold a grudge
About what’s been done
God loves everyone

There are no gates in heaven
Everyone gets in
Queer or straight
Souls of every faith
Hell is in our minds
Hell is in this life
But when it’s gone
God takes everyon

Its love is like a womb
It’s like the air from room to room
It surrounds us all
The living and the dead
May we never lose the thread
That bound us all

The killer in his cell
The atheist as well
The pure of heart
And the wild at heart
Are all worthy of its grace
It’s written in the face
Of everyone
God loves everyone

There’s no need to be saved
No need to be afraid
Cause when it’s done
God takes everyone

God loves everyone